Day 34: Swept Away

C continues to improve. She was in a fantastic mood today, and there were very few moments that she was scratching her usual places and saying, "Owie." Her skin seems like it's healing before my eyes. A few days ago, it had the texture of what I imagine elephant skin feels like - rough and sort of wrinkly. Today, by the time I got her out of the bath and applied the new Shikai Borage Therapy lotion on her, I felt less and less of that rough, wrinkly texture. There was barely any red on her back and torso. I am really amazed. This girl is healing.

I can't explain how much joy I feel just seeing her do her thing. Running around the house with her hands spread behind her back shouting, "Airplane! Airplane!" or playing dress-up with her sister. I haven't seen her this happy for what feels like a long time. And though she still has her tough moments because she is just a toddler, there's a lightness and a sweetness in her demeanor that makes me feel like she knows that she's getting better. I think she also senses the attention I've been putting on her lately, as she has been more clingy to me the past few days, which is a first. She's been insisting that I take her out of the car, that I hold her more than Paul, that I put her to bed. Meanwhile, E has adjusted by insisting on Daddy more often than she usually does, which is also a first - she has always been more attached to me. It's sort of a refreshing change for all of us.

Tonight, when I put C to bed, I sang her "Sanctuary" and she just kind of collapsed onto my chest. Then she suddenly looked up at me. We just stared at each other for a long time, and she smiled and put her forehead on my mouth for me to kiss it. I just melted into a million pieces with affection for my curly-haired little girl, wanting her sweet spirit to burst free into this world and shower it with as much goodness as she's put into my life.

I think I've started to lose myself a little bit in this whole eczema ordeal. In case you can't tell, it's really consumed me lately and I am sure you're tired of hearing about it. I hope I can distance myself from it a little bit this week if C continues to heal up. It's all I want to talk about with anyone, mostly because I feel that there is some kind of injustice for all the kids out there who suffer from eczema and just get prescribed steroid creams. Sometimes I get swept up into causes where I feel there's some kind of ignorance or oppression represented. I feel for every kid out there who has been stuck in this endless cycle of scratching. Our allergist told us about a baby that came to him from Japan. His mother had dressed him in a onesie and safety-pinned the arms of the onesie to his side so he couldn't move his arms to scratch himself. Once they unpinned his arms, he began scratching and would not stop, so much that by the time the appointment was over, he was bleeding all over his body. The itch was too unbearable. I feel so sad for all the kids with severe eczema out there. I hope they find the right healing and treatment too. In the meantime, I will try not to get too carried away in all this. I am just so grateful that God is meeting me in this 40-day journey, that he is showing me His strength and answering so graciously.