On a particularly hot day in Los Angeles, the air is stuffy in our small apartment, the dog restless from being cooped up with me all day as I sit on my red stool practicing the day away. I keep the windows closed to keep her from barking and the neighbors from hearing the tedium of my daily routine. Every so often I open them while I rehearse a score mentally or file my nails, enjoying the breeze and the sounds of the neighborhood. And sometimes when I just don't care, I open them and let my practicing flow out the window to whoever passes by and let the dog bark if she feels like it.
At around 2 o'clock every day, it gets too hot to stay at my seat near the window even with the fan on, so in several trips I move all my things into our tiny bedroom, shut all the doors, and turn on the AC unit. A new wave of concentration develops, only to turn into a wave of lethargy, the temptation of lying down too great to bear. I grab my score and study it lying on my back on the bed, inevitably falling asleep. Awaking with a start after about twenty minutes, I return to my seat and get back to work. I've practiced nearly five hours total and my fingers are fatigued and sore, the callouses peeling off on my left hand and the nails on my right hand starting to chip.
At 6:30pm, I've not accomplished anything close to what I had hoped for at the beginning of the day. I'm starting to doubt myself and wonder if I'm in over my head. I take a break and shift my energy into making dinner, taking care to make it taste exactly so, as if preparing something satisfying for my stomach will somehow make up for what I have not been able to create for my ears to hear.
After a long dinner break, I put in a recording of Segovia and lie down on the floor with the windows open once again, enjoying the cool breeze of the summer evening. A sound that I haven't heard for awhile overwhelms my ears: the round, sweet sound of the guitar as I once fell in love with it. I've been so wrapped up in my details that my insides nearly hurt from craving this sound for such a long time.
Lying there on the floor, with the breeze flowing in from outside and the soft sound of Segovia's guitar washing over me, I remember again why I started all this in the first place. I remind myself not to stop loving this process, despite the occasional day in which the labor of love is merely just labor.
Friday, May 22, 2009
Friday, May 15, 2009
The Airborne Toxic Event
While playing a lunchtime gig today at a hotel restaurant in downtown LA, I ran into a violinist that I performed with once while I was at Juilliard. He now plays in a LA-based cutting edge string quartet that commissions tons of new music and experimental stuff called The Calder Quartet, although they play Mozart just as well. He mentioned that they had taped for Jimmy Kimmel last night, and in checking out the quartet website, I discovered that they are actually playing with the indie rock band The Airborne Toxic Event. His sister plays viola/keyboard for this band- and they totally rock! (Incidentally, she went to Columbia and was class of '04.)
I checked out The Airborne Toxic Event on myspace and I can't stop listening to them. Depressing, poetic lyrics are covered under an upbeat, guitar-driven texture with occasional richness added by strings a la Belle and Sebastian. They hail from Los Feliz, a Los Angeles area adjacent to ours that, along with Silver Lake, is the bastion of numerous indie bands, many of which make it to the top.
I love the role that the quartet plays in this version of "Sometime Around Midnight," bow hairs flying and everything! The string sound in the rock genre is usually reserved for more melancholy, plaintive, slow songs, but here is proof that classical musicians can totally rock out.
I checked out The Airborne Toxic Event on myspace and I can't stop listening to them. Depressing, poetic lyrics are covered under an upbeat, guitar-driven texture with occasional richness added by strings a la Belle and Sebastian. They hail from Los Feliz, a Los Angeles area adjacent to ours that, along with Silver Lake, is the bastion of numerous indie bands, many of which make it to the top.
I love the role that the quartet plays in this version of "Sometime Around Midnight," bow hairs flying and everything! The string sound in the rock genre is usually reserved for more melancholy, plaintive, slow songs, but here is proof that classical musicians can totally rock out.
Monday, May 11, 2009
The technology bandwagon
I'm usually not the first to jump on the bandwagon about anything. Especially things media related, like TV shows, big movie openings, the latest gadgets, and popular internet tools. I sort of take my time, see what sticks and what doesn't, and get into something like four seasons (i.e. 24) or two years later. Sometimes I just crave the bliss of quiet after a busy day.
As an aspiring artist, it's now more important than ever that I keep up with media trends and utilize those which can help my career and put me on the cutting edge. This is where I often fail. I'm not great at promoting and marketing myself, but I've gotten somewhat comfortable with the concept. My problem is now that the tools by which one does so are changing so quickly that once I settle into a groove with one thing (like having a functional website), the next thing is taking off.
Well, here are some ideas that I thought about today which have been brought to my attention by various media-savvy friends of mine.
1. YouTube. Upload current videos of various pieces to amass a following and therefore publicize your name for concert attendance.
2. Twitter. Tweet your current musical endeavors, upcoming concerts, and latest musings to help people get to know you as a person.
3. Blogging. Clearly, I'm on this one! But I never meant for it to be read for the general public. That is, I choose the setting where it doesn't come up on google searches, although of course I know that everything on the internet is fair game. At least to my knowledge, it is mainly read by my circle of friends and family. Making it a public blog linked to my website where I continue writing about my current range of topics (the intersection between my spirituality and my life as a musician, funny or important personal anecdotes, particularly interesting encounters with art/food) has been suggested and I'm still not sure about that. (If you are a stranger reading my blog, please speak now or forever hold your peace.)
4. Facebook. Yeah I'm on this one, isn't the whole world? But the more that my social circles collide on it, the less I want it to reveal about myself personally. And granted, if someone sees you perform and actually bothers to look you up on facebook, I suppose this means they want to be a part of your network in a more personal way. Connecting with your audience is a goal held by most musicians, so in theory this would be a great thing. I even asked a stranger in the audience at one of my concerts in NY how he heard about the event, and he mumbled quietly, "Facebook." But, I still don't feel that comfortable adding people as friends who I don't know personally. I once attempted to create a fan page for myself but felt completely narcissistic.
5. Instant Encore. This is a cool site where you can allow your audience to relive a concert experience by punching in a code and listening to a recording of the concert after they see it live. I don't think it has a critical mass following in the general public though. But it wouldn't hurt to try it.
Anyway, I'd love feedback from you lovely readers about how you think any of these tools might help enhance the career of an artist you might follow (actors, writers, singers, etc.) Are there any other mediums that I'm missing here? This summer I'd like to get my website overhauled and try to tap into more of these tools, so the question is not so much if, but really to help me understand how media is changing the nature of music's accessibility and the persona of any given musician. Do the latest internet tools provide a more personal interaction between artists and their audience, or does it merely give a facade of connectivity? Is there any reason to circumvent the latest innovation, or must one inevitably change with the times? What's next? Thoughts welcome.
As an aspiring artist, it's now more important than ever that I keep up with media trends and utilize those which can help my career and put me on the cutting edge. This is where I often fail. I'm not great at promoting and marketing myself, but I've gotten somewhat comfortable with the concept. My problem is now that the tools by which one does so are changing so quickly that once I settle into a groove with one thing (like having a functional website), the next thing is taking off.
Well, here are some ideas that I thought about today which have been brought to my attention by various media-savvy friends of mine.
1. YouTube. Upload current videos of various pieces to amass a following and therefore publicize your name for concert attendance.
2. Twitter. Tweet your current musical endeavors, upcoming concerts, and latest musings to help people get to know you as a person.
3. Blogging. Clearly, I'm on this one! But I never meant for it to be read for the general public. That is, I choose the setting where it doesn't come up on google searches, although of course I know that everything on the internet is fair game. At least to my knowledge, it is mainly read by my circle of friends and family. Making it a public blog linked to my website where I continue writing about my current range of topics (the intersection between my spirituality and my life as a musician, funny or important personal anecdotes, particularly interesting encounters with art/food) has been suggested and I'm still not sure about that. (If you are a stranger reading my blog, please speak now or forever hold your peace.)
4. Facebook. Yeah I'm on this one, isn't the whole world? But the more that my social circles collide on it, the less I want it to reveal about myself personally. And granted, if someone sees you perform and actually bothers to look you up on facebook, I suppose this means they want to be a part of your network in a more personal way. Connecting with your audience is a goal held by most musicians, so in theory this would be a great thing. I even asked a stranger in the audience at one of my concerts in NY how he heard about the event, and he mumbled quietly, "Facebook." But, I still don't feel that comfortable adding people as friends who I don't know personally. I once attempted to create a fan page for myself but felt completely narcissistic.
5. Instant Encore. This is a cool site where you can allow your audience to relive a concert experience by punching in a code and listening to a recording of the concert after they see it live. I don't think it has a critical mass following in the general public though. But it wouldn't hurt to try it.
Anyway, I'd love feedback from you lovely readers about how you think any of these tools might help enhance the career of an artist you might follow (actors, writers, singers, etc.) Are there any other mediums that I'm missing here? This summer I'd like to get my website overhauled and try to tap into more of these tools, so the question is not so much if, but really to help me understand how media is changing the nature of music's accessibility and the persona of any given musician. Do the latest internet tools provide a more personal interaction between artists and their audience, or does it merely give a facade of connectivity? Is there any reason to circumvent the latest innovation, or must one inevitably change with the times? What's next? Thoughts welcome.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
The Competition
In about six weeks, I am going to Ithaca, NY to enter the Competition to Become the World's Best Classical Guitarist of the Entire Universe.
Ok, so it's not really called that. There are lots of competitions that take place throughout the year, but this really is the only one that matters, in my opinion. The winner gets not only $7500 and a CD recording made by Naxos, but a fifty city concert tour of America! For any classical guitarist, it's an absolute dream come true. Basically, they hand you an international concert career on a silver platter. I've had the privilege of studying with three former winners of this competition, all who were brilliant artists and phenomenal teachers as well.
It's a stretch, and I don't honestly believe that I will win this competition this year. My goal really is to make it past the preliminary round and onto the semi-finals, and I would be surprised, ecstatic, and terrified if I actually made it to the finals. But if I go and play my best and still don't make it past the first round, I will be totally fine with that because if everybody else is just better, then that's totally fair. If I go and don't play very well, I honestly will still be ok with that because just entering this thing is taking a giant step of courage for me. I even signed up last year and then withdrew my name partway through. So basically, I'm looking at it as I have nothing to lose. I am going to work my tail off for the next six weeks, and then just let things go how they go.
But why not believe that I could win this year? Confidence, at least verbalized in such a way, has never been my strong suit. I tend to think of myself more as a "realist" (or to an optimist like my husband, a pessimist) and my first instinct with things that I really, really want is to say, "Pshhh. Yeah right. That would never happen to me!"
It's time to let go of negative thinking. I want to believe that I can win, and not feel like I'm on some sort of ego-trip or that I'm being ostentatious about anything. It's time to stop embracing false humility and believe that God can do anything through me because doubting the possibilities is in essence doubting his power.
The other day, the parking shuttle driver saw my guitar case and asked what it was. I told him it was a classical guitar.
He said, "No kidding! Are you good?"
I paused. Then, a sudden surge of confidence. "Yeah! I'm good!" I replied enthusiastically.
Usually I wouldn't say something like that. I might typically say something like, "I'm alright" with a chuckle, or "Uh, I guess.." but for the first time that day, I decided to give confidence a shot.
This summer I am giving confidence a shot in my own small way.
Ok, so it's not really called that. There are lots of competitions that take place throughout the year, but this really is the only one that matters, in my opinion. The winner gets not only $7500 and a CD recording made by Naxos, but a fifty city concert tour of America! For any classical guitarist, it's an absolute dream come true. Basically, they hand you an international concert career on a silver platter. I've had the privilege of studying with three former winners of this competition, all who were brilliant artists and phenomenal teachers as well.
It's a stretch, and I don't honestly believe that I will win this competition this year. My goal really is to make it past the preliminary round and onto the semi-finals, and I would be surprised, ecstatic, and terrified if I actually made it to the finals. But if I go and play my best and still don't make it past the first round, I will be totally fine with that because if everybody else is just better, then that's totally fair. If I go and don't play very well, I honestly will still be ok with that because just entering this thing is taking a giant step of courage for me. I even signed up last year and then withdrew my name partway through. So basically, I'm looking at it as I have nothing to lose. I am going to work my tail off for the next six weeks, and then just let things go how they go.
But why not believe that I could win this year? Confidence, at least verbalized in such a way, has never been my strong suit. I tend to think of myself more as a "realist" (or to an optimist like my husband, a pessimist) and my first instinct with things that I really, really want is to say, "Pshhh. Yeah right. That would never happen to me!"
It's time to let go of negative thinking. I want to believe that I can win, and not feel like I'm on some sort of ego-trip or that I'm being ostentatious about anything. It's time to stop embracing false humility and believe that God can do anything through me because doubting the possibilities is in essence doubting his power.
The other day, the parking shuttle driver saw my guitar case and asked what it was. I told him it was a classical guitar.
He said, "No kidding! Are you good?"
I paused. Then, a sudden surge of confidence. "Yeah! I'm good!" I replied enthusiastically.
Usually I wouldn't say something like that. I might typically say something like, "I'm alright" with a chuckle, or "Uh, I guess.." but for the first time that day, I decided to give confidence a shot.
This summer I am giving confidence a shot in my own small way.
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