Dating for Mommies

Everywhere I go these days, people are emphasizing the importance of having good community - real, authentic community that supports you and goes through the challenges of life with you. I've always known this is important, but it is one thing to know the importance of community and another thing to actually have good community. The last sermon I heard on this topic this was this past Sunday where I promptly thought to myself, He's preaching to the choir on this one - now how do I get it?

We live in a society where caretakers and their children are more isolated than ever. It's more and more common for people to live far away from their extended families, leaving mom (or dad) who is home with baby alone for long periods of the day. I've recently experienced how isolating this is and how I long to meet other women in my area who are going through the struggles of taking care of an infant day in and day out, if only just to talk about which diapers to use or what their baby's sleep schedule is, how their lifestyle has changed, etc. Mostly because it would make me feel a little more sane to know that I'm not the only person in Los Angeles who contemplates spit up and diaper cream all day.

So I've been trying to put myself out there whenever I meet another mom and reach out even in the strangest of circumstances. I was emailing with the chef of a nearby restaurant we love who made food for our housewarming party a few weeks ago, and she introduced me to a moms' support group on LA's east side aptly named the Booby Brigade. I posted a message on our message board looking to meet up with other moms and have gotten a few responses so far. I also emailed a mom twice that I stalked out (well, sort of) at a church we have been visiting because her baby was the same age as Elisa. So far no response. Every time I see a mom walking with her baby or with a stroller, I wonder if I should just introduce myself but I usually feel a little awkward about it. I feel like I'm dating or something. I mean, am I cool enough for all these hipster moms in our area?

Elisa is 4 months and is just a little ball of cuteness. I am getting more rest than I have since she was born (which is still not exactly a normal 7-8 hours of interrupted sleep, but you take what you can get!). I love waking up to her smiling face and watching her interact with the world in new ways all the time. Here she is with her big morning smile. Getting greeted by her when she's in this good a mood definitely overshadows all the tiredness.

Around the Bend

I blame the lack of blogging on something very simple - this month, we moved! We're now settled in a 2 BR house in the Silver Lake area of LA, only about 5 minutes from where we used to live but with way more space. We've also got a lovely patio area, a non-working hot tub, and carpet instead of hardwood, which is nice for Elisa.

This past week, I think Elisa has finally turned a corner. She is adjusting more and more beautifully into life outside the womb. The past month or so, she would be in a good mood in the mornings, but get fussier as the day progressed. Lately, I can get a smile out of her almost all day long. She's doing better with riding in the car without crying, and she charms most people she meets with a smile and sometimes even a laugh.

Sleep training was hard to stomach at first...in the newborn days we didn't feel good about letting her "cry-it-out" for very long since her needs were so physical (hungry, poopy, tired). Then we realized that more and more often, she cried because of her emotional attachment to us and our soothing methods were becoming less and less effective. So we letting her cry, and after one night of a rough wailing session and us going in to comfort her in intervals, she woke up bright eyed and smiling, and napped without a complaint the next day. It's been up and down since then, but overall, she is learning to sleep better in her crib than she ever did. Now, when she's content to go to sleep, we can put her in the crib without the usual swaddle, rock, nurse routine, and she'll eventually drift off to sleep. There are of course times when she does not want to sleep, but in general it is getting easier and easier to put her down for naps and bedtime. What a huge blessing! Getting her off the pacifier will be another battle, but hey, one thing at a time.

Here's our happy girl at almost four months.