Sometimes it is easy to forget how long it took to be able to do some of the things I do well. There was a time when I couldn't imagine ever giving a solo recital, let alone traveling and getting paid for it as part of my career. There were long days in the practice rooms and frustrating moments. Now I look fondly on those days and wonder what I could learn or accomplish if only I had that kind of time again. When I was a student, all I wanted was to be done with school, and now that I'm not one, I miss that time. I think. Sorta.
I hung out with a bunch of single girls from church the other day. Two of them were coming from a yoga class, and the other two were about to take a jog around the lake. I had my two munchkins with me, one of which was tired and fussy, the other of which was tired and whiny. You can guess who was who. While my friends all oogled over the babies, I oogled over how relaxed and carefree they seemed. There was a time in my life where on a given Friday morning I might have gone to a yoga class and taken a leisurely jog around the lake. But no more.
The grass is always greener on the other side, and I'm working on trying to love being in this moment of juggling all the different facets of my life. It is not a carefree one, but it is a rich one. I don't want to live my life always wishing for another season of it. So I am learning to be here in the present, loving this time when my kids are little, savoring each hug, each new skill, each new discovery, and all the guitar playing in between.
End Day 18.
1 comment:
Oh man, I can totally get where you're coming from. I have a friend who is a consultant and travels to a new ski hill every weekend to go skiing. My husband and I hear about this and are so envious. But our friend wants to get married, settle down, and start a family.
Thankfully, Elliot is becoming more and more fun and I keep reminding myself that this time is so precious- and as you say, "rich." Definitely, I feel the "richness," even though I miss other things, like SLEEP and EXERCISE and FREE TIME. I can't imagine how much worse it's going to get with 2...
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