Day 40.

It's Day 40 today. I think that I have undoubtedly felt more reflective during this time, even though I didn't always have the energy to write very much at a time. And it is nice to know that there are some things that I can actually do for 40 days. At the end of this 40 days, I feel like we are still in a tough season of childrearing, but also a joyous one. And for me personally, my body may be exhausted most of the time, but my spirit is satisfied and blessed beyond all measure.

Today was a little bit of a rough day as I wasn't able to sleep very well last night. My own fault, not so much the kids. I am not good with uncertainty, and the house hunt is not for the faint of heart. There is a downward spiral in starting to question where you should live and why and how this will affect your career, kids, life, etc. My mom used to tell me that I think too much, and indeed I do. That's why Paul is such a good match for me - he leaves everything ultimately in God's hands rather than harping on anything, and me being the worry wart that I am, need his strength in this regard.

I felt today that God asked me multiple times, "Do you really trust me? Do you?" While it's easy to say, especially with a major life change like buying a house, I know that I falter and waver in this area, particularly when thinking about my own job and career track. My brother reminded me of something I told him a long time ago, and it's time to follow my own advice - pursue fulfillment artistically, and God will lead you.

So off I go - no more blogging for a little while - instead, practicing, getting my nails and callouses back in working order, and new programming. I'm excited. See you soon and thank you for being on this journey with me.

End Day 40.