Oh, for the love of Mommy.

It has been a whirlwind of a couple weeks. We had a great time in Seattle seeing family for Thanksgiving, and now somehow there is only a week until Christmas and then New Year's! Crazy how fast this last part of the year has gone by.

Elisa is in a phase right now where she just absolutely wants ME. I am like mommy on a pedestal that can do no wrong. Her eyes light up when shes sees me, she hugs my legs and wants to be held, and just this week she has learned to call out for me, going, "Mama. Mama? Mama! MAMA!" if I go from one room to another without bringing her with me.

I find this really sweet and endearing and I know it will not last forever, so I'm trying to cherish this moment in time of being her absolute favorite person in the world. I don't deserve this pure and unbridled affection from anyone, really. But I have to be honest... it is exhausting! I am exhausted from having this little person cling to me all day who would rather sit on my lap while I eat dinner than play with her toys about two feet away. She even does this thing where she pushes her daddy away if he tries to hold her and says staunchly, "MOMMY." It is amazing that the capacity to love comes out so early in children.

With this love also comes a comfort with me that seems to allow her to be her full self all the time. As Elisa is growing up, we're seeing that she is a very decisive, strong-willed little girl. She knows what she wants and what she doesn't want, and if we tell her otherwise, she can get very upset. It seems like in addition to her attachment to me, she also gets more frustrated at me. Sometimes when I tell her not to do something she throws a little tantrum but keeps saying the syllable, "Mamamamamama!" I said to Paul, "I don't think she's referring to me," to which he replied, "I think she's using your name as a curse word." That was kind of discouraging.

I suppose all mothers and daughters have their closeness and conflict as well. Sometimes I think she is growing up all too fast; other times, I am eager for the day when the ability to use logic and reason has kicked in and she is able to communicate all her thoughts, wants, and needs. The other day, Paul went to get her in the morning and as she approached our room where I was lying in bed, she said in a whiny voice, "Mommm." I half expected her to ask for the car keys too. Thank goodness that won't be happening for another 15 years.