holiday 2008

A Christmas song

This week I played at our church Newsong LA for the first time. I've always liked the song "O Holy Night" and spent part of the week working on an arrangement for service. I also discovered I can capture video on my computer. I've had the computer for two years and had no idea. We took this video in front of our Christmas tree and if you look closely, you'll see a certain reindeer running around. Well, hope you like it.

Merry Christmas!

Commitment

“The drama nerd comes out in me when I’m in a theater,” he explained now, as the actors rehearsed. “When I saw ‘All My Sons,’ I was changed — permanently changed — by that experience. It was like a miracle to me. But that deep kind of love comes at a price: for me, acting is torturous, and it’s torturous because you know it’s a beautiful thing. I was young once, and I said, That’s beautiful and I want that. Wanting it is easy, but trying to be great — well, that’s absolutely torturous.”

- Philip Seymour Hoffman, New York Times, 12/19/08

The hardest part about acting, according to Philip Seymour Hoffman, is the very pursuit of it. When I read this quote, something struck a chord in me about the ease of falling in love with an art form, that love igniting the drive to pursue it, and the torture of knowing that the ideal of the beauty in this art is so intangible and at times feels so completely unreachable that the wanting of it only brings oneself to a torturous state of pursuit because of its beauty and fragility. It's easier to want than to do, and the doing at times feels as though it hinges on the brink of destroying the beautiful from too much effort or too much pining.

I've often wondered what I can do to make my commitment to my own art form less torturous in its own right. Why is music not as natural as a part of my daily doing, my daily being, like breathing? Instead, it is often this monstrous thing that looms ever before me, its beauty slipping further from my grasp with each day that I don't purposely pursue it. It often feels like an insatiable burden that I've only brought upon myself, an insurmountable duty that I've chosen. What is it in the human spirit that allows to reach for the things that are completely intangible, much akin to a longing for a Creator that we can't see?

I think it has something to do with a much needed commitment to believe that the intangible beauty that first captured my heart at the age of five is a inseparable part of my life now that I've chosen it. Even in its torture, it is somehow a part of me that is inescapable as long as I keep making this decision to want it. I hope for the day that music will become as natural as living is. Like breathing.

Artists can learn a lot from athletes. I saw Michael Phelps on TV the other day. He talked about how there was one year in which he did not miss a single workout. Such was his determination that not 1 day out of 365 was taken off. Could I ever be that committed?

I guess we'll have to wait and see in 2009.

A new kind of bliss.

I'm discovering more and more that LA offers a lot of the things that makes me love cities. And despite the traffic, smog, and unabashed superficiality, there is one thing that I now love which was never even in my vocabulary before I moved here.

The Korean Spa.

Now, I like anything with the word spa in it. I think I get this from my sister. Nail spa. Foot spa. Spa Day. Day Spa. Massage Spa. A sigh of relief calms my body with the utterance of this magical three letter word. Given the fact that money is tight and there is no way I'm going to one of those expensive spas in West LA to get my R & R, I decided to save up to treat myself to a less expensive post-semester stress-busting reward before I started studying for my last exam. Considering that I've been having upper back pain all semester and could use a little beauty treatment, I decided to investigate the phenomenon of Korean spas that exist in our neck of the woods here next to LA's expansive Koreatown.

So after checking out some of the reviews online, I picked Natura spa because it was reportedly clean, modern, and not as expensive as some of the others. I made an appointment for a scrub and massage, which was about half the cost that nice spas in LA would charge for one of these services. The fee included access to the jacuzzis and saunas at the place, so I went early to take advantage of the amenities.

Well, I read online that these spas are pretty "old world" in the sense that they observe a lot of the traditional bathhouse protocol that you find in Korea. And reportedly from my husband, visiting a spa in Korea is a pretty shocking experience. In fact, it was the only experience that made him feel that he was in a foreign country when he visited Korea a few years ago for the first time since he was like 3. The reason being that everyone is NAKED! Of course, men and women are separated. But the shock of seeing even members of your own gender completely in the buff is well, shocking. Especially when many of them are twice your age and often your grandma's generation.

I found Natura to be a world away from the busy street of Wilshire Ave. Hidden underneath a Korean mini-mall on the basement floor, I was greeted at the front desk by two ladies who weren't sure if I was Korean or not and offered me half-apologetic smiles and confused looks. I said loudly, "Hello!" not even bothering to say the formal Korean greeting because if I said it correctly, they would only assume that I was Korean and proceed to talk to me in Korean. So I tried to make it clear that I was 100% Americana.

A nice lady proceeded to give me a tour of the premises, showing me my fancy key access gym locker, set of white towels and terrycloth robe, the cucumber and citrus-infused drinking water, and complimentary toiletries. It was a very nice changing area and was impeccably clean. She also pointed me to the sauna area, stressing to shower before and after entering the pools, the sleeping room, composed of an elevated floor with tatami mats and comforters with a flat-screen TV on the wall, the restaurant, which sold overpriced Korean food, and the lounge, which had sofa chairs with wooden ottomans and Korean magazines. I liked what I saw. I quickly changed and put on my terrycloth robe, making my way into the sauna to take a shower.

Well, opening the door to the sauna was a bit like entering the Twilight Zone. I was prepared to enter with my robe on, thinking I would discreetly take it off and find a little corner to shower where nobody would see me, since the showers and the tubs were all in one large room with no walls whatsoever. But a sign on the door said, "FOR SANITARY REASON, PLEASE DO NOT BRING ROBES INTO THE BATH AREA." Huh? I guess I had no choice but to enter in the stark, carrying my little towel, and to remain in the stark until I would leave 3 hours later!

So, I entered the world of nakedness, and pretty soon I got used to it. None of the other ladies were looking at me, and I avoided making direct eye contact with anyone so that I could try to blend in as part of the bathhouse scenery. After a few minutes, I found this Naked World With Complete Strangers to be somehow liberating. I was no longer concerned about the extra tummy rolls that I gained this past week when I went on a baking frenzy and Paul and I had Korean BBQ and fried chicken in the same day. I wasn't concerned about anything. I was comfortable in my own skin. Quite literally. And apparently, everyone else was too.

I tried a comfortably hot jacuzzi first that was supposedly infused with tea, called a Mugworts Bath (which reminded me of something from Harry Potter, and I spent most of the time in it wondering why they called it that). It felt heavenly and the sweet smell of the tea or herbs was intoxicating. After a little bit, I investigated the other options around- an extremely hot, scalding jacuzzi, an ice cold plunge pool, a steam room that smelled beautifully of Chinese herbs or something, a sauna room with Korean TV blaring (I didn't like this one), and two funny rooms called the Jade Stone Room and the Yellow Clay Room. The Jade Stone Room looked like some sort of cave where you might find Gollum. It looked creepy at first, but I went in and sat on a leathery coushin I found on the floor. It wasn't until some other ladies entered that I learned these coushins were pillows for your head. The others proceeded to lie down, rest their heads on them, and take naps. I found this strange at first, but quickly followed suit, and took my nap next to some other naked ladies on the floor. After a little while, I wandered into the Yellow Clay Room, where people were doing the same thing. This room was made of yellow clay reportedly imported from Korea. It had an earthy smell and even had bags of clay hanging from the ceiling. I think its supposed to be good for your skin to be around such earthiness.

The time came for my appointment for my scurb and massage. I waited near the massaging area for my number to be called. The massage area was a strange sight as there were no walls and about a dozen massage tables were grouped together in a corner. I'll spare you the gritty details, but forget having a towel to modestly cover the areas not being massaged. The lady who called me up promptly took my towel from me, pulled me by the arm like an auntie might pull you to the dinner table, and cheerfully gestured for me to lie face down on the massage table. She then began throwing buckets of hot water all over me. I yelped a little at first, and then decided to just forget about any reluctance and just enjoy the treatment. The lady proceeded to scrub every single inch of my body with this little scrubby mitt, and the results were immediate. Layers of dead skin started falling off me (which Koreans call dae) that she cleared out by throwing more hot water all over me. I spent a little time wondering if they use the same scrubby mitt for everyone or not, but then just shrugged it off as I was scrubbed into oblivion. This little lady was sparing no inch and was no joke. She scrubbed with superhuman strength and spent a particular amount of time on my right armpit and left thigh. I wondered if she tells her grandkids about what she does all day.

After several layers of my epidermis had been rinsed away with hot water, she then proceeded to lather oil all over my body, gave me some facial cleanser, and then told me to "take shower." I obeyed and rinsed off the oil and facial cleanser, and then game back to the table for part deux of the experience. Hot towels were put on me and she began to massage. But apparently the Korean version of massaging is more like using a punching bag- me being the punching bag. She literally got up onto the table and hit me with the back of her elbows and fists. I've come to like very strong pressure in massages, but I just found it funny at first. I almost let out a giggle, but she hit the air out of me at the same time so it came out more like the sound of an endangered small animal. I let her work out some of the knots in my upper back using this method and began to get used to the treatment. After she had let out her agression on my back, a silky substance was poured all over me. I opened my eyes and peeked at my arm to discover that it was milk! She also gave me an ice cold cucumber face mask and then proceeded to shampoo and condition my hair, along with a very intense scalp massage. Wow, what treatment! I felt like a queen and when it was finally all over, I was instructed to shower yet again for about the 10th time that day, and then went into the locker room to change. I noticed that my skin had a new glow to it and I went into a state of happy relaxation for the rest of the day. I was a new woman.

Take it from me, the Korean spa treatment deserves a try. Now that I think about it, I am probably not making this sound very appealing. Pay someone to scrub you with what feels like steel wool and punch you for an hour? And not let you have your clothes? Well, there must be something in the water. I am definitely going back. But not with anyone I know.

Holiday Sale!

Yes, I said the magic word- SALE! Here's an idea for holiday shopping- all CDs are 25% off at www.conniesheu.com. From now until Dec. 24th, enter the coupon code HOLIDAY at checkout and receive 25% off your order. A great way to pass along the gift of music to someone in your life and support an independent artist.

Sorry if you're tired of me plugging myself. I've gotta get the word out somehow...

On family

I am at the tail end of one of the busiest weeks of school that I can remember in my life and happy to take a blogging break. Although I think I remember one week my junior year of college fall semester that I was more sleep deprived and caffeine fueled and overloaded with work than I am now. The difference being that I am 7 years older now and can't pull all nighters anymore, lest I forget where I am, crash the car, and start some sort of city-wide disaster while driving to school.

So I wasn't that helpful over Thanksgiving this year because of all the work I had to do, but my siblings sure were. Check out my sister's blog here for an account of how awesome it was in the Chen/Sheu/Chun household. I must say, food is a love language in our family and it was mightily poured out on us!

When you don't live locally from your family, the nature of the visits always change. I realized this long ago when I went away to college, but it's becoming more evident to me as I get older. Every time I spend time with loved ones, I realize something new about myself and get a fresh perspective on who I am because of how much my loved ones have affected me. And I count myself lucky to say that I think their influence has been mostly good. It's also always fun to observe little quirky things about your parents and see if you're like that too. For example, at the end of our trip, we were joking about my mom's addiction to email and how my siblings are equally obsessive about certain things, like a new Wii game or facebook. I quickly agreed that this was the case for me too- but then couldn't think of a single example for an addiction of mine. In fact, I think I'm sort of the opposite. I don't have the attention span to do anything for too long or I will get bored real quick. Maybe it's some form of adult ADD. I could also have my Dad's love-to-work, can't sit still sort of thing. But then again there are lots of times when I sit real still when I should be working (i.e. practicing).

Our families affect us so much as people and its fascinating to see how we as individuals take some of those traits that are passed down to us and make them our own. As we grow older, self-discovery is an inevitable thing that helps us gain perspective about who we really are and why we are where we are in life. When I last spent time with my in-laws in New Jersey, we did what has now become a habit when we get together with Paul's mom and sister- sit on the floor, share prayer requests, hold hands, and pray out loud together. Usually, the prayer session ends with crying, hugging, and verbal "I love you"s. This kind of expressiveness is something that my family culturally is not accustomed to, so at first I used to think that the extreme intimacy of spiritual sharing and verbally declaring our love for each other in a family was really weird. Now I am blessed and thankful for it every time, and I can see the way that their closeness has shaped Paul's faith and is reflected in how very expressive he is with his thoughts and emotions. I also saw the way he enjoyed our time this weekend with my family and the comfort and ease with which everybody interacts. It's a beautiful thing to share, and when we grow our own family someday (keyword is someday), I hope we'll be able to pass down the good from both.